Take two weeks and call me in the morning
I saw my doctor yesterday, and after listening to me for about 10 minutes, he informed me that I was taking the next two weeks off of work.
It was exactly what I wanted, so, of course, I went into a total panic; explaining to him all the reasons why I couldn't take the time off. As I blathered on, the tears started. I was supposed to go on a school trip tomorrow, my partner is going out on maternity leave in a week, it's the week before March break and the kids will be crazy. He simply said "They will manage. You need to take care of yourself." And wrote out the doctor's note.
Although I know this is what I need to do, I am fearful of the consequences of this. The idea that I can't "suck it up" and make it through makes me worry that my employer, both present and future, will not think I am capable. I can't actually lose my job, the union will take care of that, but it could be less than pleasant if my principal thinks I am a malingerer or one of those teachers that takes advantage of "stress".
But, I know I need to get healthy. Drugs haven't worked. Minor rest hasn't worked. And I have to trust that my doctor (and my own instinct) are right about taking this time. I know that I am a good teacher, but my exhaustion and stress levels have made me someone I don't want to be.
It's time to get well.
It was exactly what I wanted, so, of course, I went into a total panic; explaining to him all the reasons why I couldn't take the time off. As I blathered on, the tears started. I was supposed to go on a school trip tomorrow, my partner is going out on maternity leave in a week, it's the week before March break and the kids will be crazy. He simply said "They will manage. You need to take care of yourself." And wrote out the doctor's note.
Although I know this is what I need to do, I am fearful of the consequences of this. The idea that I can't "suck it up" and make it through makes me worry that my employer, both present and future, will not think I am capable. I can't actually lose my job, the union will take care of that, but it could be less than pleasant if my principal thinks I am a malingerer or one of those teachers that takes advantage of "stress".
But, I know I need to get healthy. Drugs haven't worked. Minor rest hasn't worked. And I have to trust that my doctor (and my own instinct) are right about taking this time. I know that I am a good teacher, but my exhaustion and stress levels have made me someone I don't want to be.
It's time to get well.
posted by allison | 10:10 AM
12 Comments:
I think it's one of the hardest things to do, realizing when it's time to take a break, even when (or especially when) you don't *want* to.
I highly doubt that your principal will take a negative view of you. Goodness knows they deal with stress too, and I can't imagine someone thinking poorly of your work ethic.
"It's time to get well."
Good for you!
Wonderful! Get some rest. You need it, you deserve it, and you have earned it. You will be better for yourself after this.
Stress is something you feel like a wuss for, when you take time off for it- and yet you shouldn't feel like that at all. Stress will start giving you physical problems and it's good that your doctor listened to you (and that you listened to your instinct!)- I hope the time off will let you get back to full health [heart]
Take the time to watch some Cary Grant films! [grin]
Hug you [hugs]
I'm sorry that this is happening. :-(
But I'm glad you're getting the time off. Don't feel badly about it. You need the time to take care of yourself. Take care of you!
*kisses*
What they ^ said.
I hope this time is healing for you. Sniff some look looks; that always helps me.
It sounds as though this is just the right time for you to take a break from work.
By the time you've rested and go back, the kids will also be happy and rested from their March break.
Sit, relax... and really enjoy your time off.
Doctor's orders.
Enjoy your time off. I really hope it helps you. [hugs]
I am attempting to foster a life where I don't give in to feeling bad for things that need to be. Do you know what I mean? Especially around jobs. I feel bad around jobs all the time. This strange guilt and obligation. Bah! I say, Bah!
I felt so horrid leaving my last job. I just kept repeating "this is not my responsibility to keep every job in the world fully stocked and running smoothly" aka "not my problem" which starts to scare me that I'm becoming irresponsible or something.
Then my sister laughs a mocking laugh and says "yeah, that's you alright - irresponsible" and rolls her eyes.
So what this all comes down to - *do for you* as that is the most important thing you are responsible for in this world.
Another way of putting what Jenn is saying (if I understand her correctly) and one of my personal mantras is "Not my circus, not my monkeys." It makes me smile, because, monkeys!
Podgy, I am SO remembering that mantra!
Be like us Bears, and don't stress over what you need to do for yourself. Bears are very good at not stressing, even when we throw parties when Jim is out and get caaaandy stains all over his sofa.
*much nodding of Bears*
Enjoy your much-needed rest, and feel better.
OK Bear Hugs
Stompy and All the Bears
It's a tough balance isn't it, especially when it comes to the dreaded "stress leave". It's there and it's there for a reason, but it's always the people who have the most genuine need of it and are least likely to abuse it that feel guilty for it.
Your doctor is right and life will go on for your school and students and your colleagues should know you well enough to know that you're not a fraud and a whiner.
Most people do understand that most of us occasionally run out of coping mechanisms and need a break.
I've already read about your interviews, so you are obviously making the best of it.
"Good on you", as a trueblue Aussie would say.
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